Showing posts with label Blogs. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Blogs. Show all posts

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

having too much fun to spend time working

oh it's been so long. keeping busy as usual. had an amazing weekend in st. augustine with my roommate for her birthday. we walked up the lighthouse, had yummy seafood next to the bridge of lions, did the ghosts and graveyards trolley tour, watched men march and shoot old guns at castillo de san marcos, enjoyed a fabulous view from our hotel room and walked on the beach and all over the city. then home to go hang out with the library ladies. had a great time playing games and laughing hysterically.

i've been having huge numbers at my preschool programs. over 100 people. have my last one tomorrow. i've been working on setting up the summer program and today i got asl classes and a pet therapy dog for kids to read to. i also got my other library specialist so now i have two people to do programs with me. we are starting to get a bit more organized in the back office, i should soon have my shelves installed, which will make it possible for me to unpack about 10 boxes! it's been weird only working 1 night a week, i got so used to working late every night. with daylight savings i have so much sunlight to enjoy. its nice.

last weekend i went to orlando. ishu and i had appointments at aveda. it's a cosmetology school, so it doesn't have all the ooh la la spa comfort, but it's way cheap. i got a 45 minute pedicure for $15. plus the girl i got loves to do designs on nails and it wasn't extra. so i got cara mia crimson with a white daisy on each big toe. so cute! then lunch at crispers and shopping at lane bryant, tjmaxx, and ross. home for a nap and then people came over. justin made yummy wings on the grill and delicious sausage pizza. dan and julia brought spinach dip and made calzones to order! then scattegories and monkey bread. around 11 everyone left and the three of us started 'did you hear about the morgans?' justin was asleep in minutes and ishu soon dragged him to bed. so i ate strawberries and finished the movie myself. i liked it a lot!

this weekend karen, justin, kate, mom and i are heading to babiesrus. kate just found out she's probably having a girl too (its still a little early, but the dr thinks that's what the baby is). karen and justin want to register and since kate doesn't know what she wants to do with the nursery, she's gonna scope out some ideas. then lunch at some place that has bison burgers that justin's all excited about. only problem is i gotta be at karen's at 8am. i'm so gonna be late.

that's the big things i've been doing lately. gotta get better at keeping up with this!

Sunday, February 21, 2010

partying, working, family and accidents

can't believe i haven't written in three weeks. busy at work getting ready for the opening. we packed up the temporary library in 3 hours. i felt like death. over the weekend i went to the olustee festival with my mom and got food poisoning. i was so sick, i couldn't keep anything down, but at least i had my mom to take care of me. having to pack and unpack did not make me feel any better. that night i kept some food down and got lots of sleep, so tuesday i felt much better. i spent the morning getting ready for a work party for birthday people and as a thank you to all the people who helped work on the library. i decorated with valentine stuff from my house and it was a great party. lots of food and fun. the next few days involved fun and not so fun meetings downtown, unpacking, putting in order, shelving and shifting tons and tons of books. i did get to have a yummy lunch out with emily and debra. i had the most delicious salmon salad. i want another one right now! anyway the kids section looks fantastic. they installed this huge life like tree today and we only have one more section of books to shift. sandy, now a volunteer, came in to work on bulletin boards. she got one done, but i can't find the stuff for my two bulletin boards/book displays. that is one of the things i want to get done tomorrow.

on saturday i threw a birthday party for my three sisters and it was a lot of fun. the weather was so beautiful, that we partied oustide on the patio. it was a greek theme. my friends ishu and justin had some people over in january when i was visiting them in orlando and they had hummus and baba ganoush and pita bread and kabobs. it was soooo yummy, so i decided that i wanted to serve it for the girls' birthday party and centered the theme around it and the olympics. the girls got crowns of green leaves. we ate first and my brother in laws said it was so delicious and i should make it for all our get togethers, which is high praise from them. then we played some games. we lit the torches (tiki torches). the birthday girls were team captains and each team had to make a toga on their teammate out of toilet paper. dad helped me judge and keep time with the games. justin spun around so many times he fell over. he and karen came in third on that event. then they had to match the god or goddess with their power. mom and sam won. then we had cheesecake with strawberries or chocolate. and the last event was bobbing for grapes and olives in bowl of water. it was really funny to watch. we had the closing ceremonies where i gave the girls their medals. i made cute medals out of wood cutouts, that i painted and wrote happy birthday on. cat got the bronze and wasn't too happy about it. karen got the silver and sam got the gold. then we went in to open cards. karen brought her heart monitor and we got to listen to the baby's hearbeat. i got to take some tummy pictures too. she started wearing maternity shirts and looks so cute. she lost 17 lbs. during the first trimester and in the last week has gotten over most of the nauseousness. she gained 2 lbs. this week. she looks thinner everywhere, except her baby bump. next friday 3/5, i get to go with karen and justin to her ultrasound to find out the sex of the baby. then all the girls and justin made plans to go to babiesrus to register for baby stuff.

on thursday night i just barely hit someone in a parking lot. basically i left two lines of red of paint on her. she called the police to do a driver information exchange. the girl was nice and the officer was too. she tried to buff it out herself but it didn't work. she got an estimate today and it was $60 to buff it out, but only 50% chance of working. to repaint the door would be $600. we hadn't gotten the insurance company involved, cause i thought i had a $500 deductible. but i called the insurance company today and that only applies to fix my car, i don't have to pay anything for the other girl's car. my car just has two lines of no red paint, so no need to fix it, it's barely noticeable. i am so happy that i don't have to pay up.

with the party i got some cleaning done, but there is always more to do. i planted some pansies on the patio, since the dead looking plants weren't really party like. hopefully they live until spring arrives and i can plant some summer stuff and see what comes back from the horrible freezing weather we've had this year.

brian is doing good on his mission. i got a short email today, but mom got a really long one. i put together an album of the family for him and will send it off this week. i meant to have it done before he left, but the craziness of christmas wasn't conducive to getting it done. it was a little strange not to have him at the party but we know he's were he's supposed to be.

that's a short catch up of what's been going on.

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

tiredness

i felt like death most of the day. i haven't been good taking my pills regularly and have had some 2 and 3am nights, so i'm sure that has contributed. i also have been working out again and my whole body just hurts. even thought all i wanted to do was crawl into bed and enter a comatose state, i went to the gym. i did 30 minutes on the elliptical. no water, i've got to remember to bring my water bottle!! hten to cvs to get those pills i've been missing and to publix to get stuff for tomorrow's birthday party at work and chocolate chips so i can make more cookies for those poor souls unpacking the millions of books at the library. bogo's are hard to resist, so of course i spent more than i wanted to, but my cupboards and freezer are stocked full of good foods, that should last at least a month.

despite the fact that i had been so tired, i got my second wind once i reached home. i get all productive as soon as i get to the one place i can crash. weird. i decorated the cake i bought and made spinach dip. then i took it to the library since i have an early meeting downtown and don't have time to run home when its over, because tomorrow is the keith and beth show at the reference des. i also needed my name tag so i can park and get into the building down there. then back home to put away groceries, take out the trash, empty the drainer, wash dishes, water the mostly dead flowers, balance my checkbook, open and organize my many envelopes of bills, and catch up on the facebook and blog. so now here i sit at 11pm, getting very sleepy, just now eating my dinner, which consists of a very yummy pb&j with cold milk. gotta go organize my pills. then - to bed i said.

and now as i go to publish this post, i realize i've written this in the library blog and not my own. i almost shot out all the personal info to the 4 people who follow the library blog. i guess i'm more tired than i thought.

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

fun and productivity

orlando was good. friday night justin had to do a work dinner, so olive, ishu and i went to izziban sushi. there were only three waitresses for the whole place and the bartender was also the busboy and host, so even though there were empty tables they weren't sitting people. my diet pepsi tasted funny, so i tried sierra mist, nada, water it was. it only took 20 mintues to get that figured out. the appetizer wasn't good and one of my sushi rolls was really salty. olive was not happy to be there. she bit her styrofoam glass of water and it exploded all over the table. it took forever to get the waitress to clean it up, while olive smacked the table to make water splash. she didn't want to sit in her high chair or eat. she had her 18 month check up that day and we figure the shot they gave her was making her grumpy. she's usually so good in restaurants. after that memorable meal we met justin at home and then went to twisty treat. is was a long drive, but was very yummy.

the next day i slept in late, watched roman holiday for the first time (so good!!) and then ishu made chilli for lunch. justin cleaned the garage and prepped our greek feast while ishu and i ran errands. she had things to return and we hunted down some glassware she wanted for her birthday. we found half of them in tjmaxx and half in ross. the lines were horrible!! we got a snack at chic fil a, which i've eaten at only once, like ten years ago. the salad was good. scrapbooking stuff was 40% off at joann's so i stocked up on birthday stuff. debra and i are making birthday cards for the library this weekend.

when we got home justin had made kebabs and two couples came over. one were people from church who use to live in gainesville that i haven't seen in forever and the other a high school friend of justin's. his fiance is from amsterdam and she had this lovely accent. we had spinach dip and pita bread with hummus as appetizers and then chicken, steak and veggie kebabs with wheat pitas and baba ganuoush. i never had it before and didn't know it was eggplant. it was such a yummy meal. then we played catch phrase, scene it and scattegories. monkey bread for dessert and then i got olive all wound up before putting her to bed. once the couples left, ishu gave me a pedicure.

i slept in again! we had leftover greek food for breakfast and then they got ready for church and i packed up. ishu gave me my christmas present. she designed and made me a bag for my crocheting. it has pockets inside for the hooks and is brown with flowers. she is sooo creative. once i was home it was reading and naptime. then the golden globes in between desperate housewives and brothers and sisters.

today i met carrie at the gym and we did a stretch class and then some cardio. the class is taught by a library patron and she gave me a shout out in the class and said how much she loved acld. then we went to bageland for lunch and exchanged christmas gifts. home to read and nap and then emily came over to borrow some stamps. she had the boys with her and they were a little wound up from their playdate. they had fun writting on me with a sharpie and themselves with a highlighter. i started it my wrighting on myself. i'm such a bad example. then the squealed bloody murder in front of my apartment and were gone. they are crazy but fun!

then i got productive. dishes washed, healthy dinner made and eaten, room cleaned, apartment vacuumed, bed made and craft table organized. watched castle with the roommate. love love love that show! now catching up on email, facebook and the blogs. tomorrow we start unpacking the storage of what will one day be my library again. oh the work in store. 2am and time for bed!

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

a month of no blogging

been waaaayyy too long. tons of stuff has been going on. pennsylvania was great. i love spending time with my grandma. it's weird and wonderful to have an adult relationship with older people. we talk like we're friends and i found out lots of things about her life that i didn't know. the older she gets the more i want to spend time with her. i know that her good years are growing short and want to get all the memories i can with her. i got to see snow and lots of great aunts and an uncle. we also had a fun shopping day at thrift stores where i got lots of stuff for sooo cheap! i had to borrow a suitcase from grandma just to bring the stuff home.

karen's graduation was good. she was soo nauseous, but she made it through without yakking. we got some great pictures of the family and the reception afterward had yummy food. then back to work for three days and trying to get everything done for christmas. christmas eve i went to lake city and had lunch at cracker barrell with susan and her son michael. susan is my high school friend who i visit every year in alabama. we planned our next visit for late april and are roadtripping to ..... arkansas! i know you're like what, arkansas? but neither of us have been and its only 4 hours from her place. so now i have to study up on the state for some off the wall places to visit.

after lunch i went to cat and bill's. grandma was staying with them and brian and i spent the night too. aunt susan and her boyfriend gary showed up in their rv and we had a nice christmas eve. we played games and ate a yummy dinner. my aunt susan made a bean soup that was delicious! i made corn casserole and steamed asparagus to go with it. christmas morning everybody else showed up. we opened presents for 2 hours, we like to watch each gift be opened. poor karen just kind of lay back on the couch and watched. i really hope this sick pregnant woman thing gets better soon. after i put my lovely quilt cat made me (with six matching pillows!) in my car, i went back to sleep. at 4 i got yanked out of bed by bill's best friend and we ate turkey and other yumminess that cat and bill made. then i lay on the couch and watched movies with my grandma. i spent another night there since my roommate was in my bed and her mom in hers.

up early the next day to work. luckily it was slow. brian's goodbye party was sunday night. kate made awesome cupcakes with brian's name on them and i got a bunch of foods brian could eat. about 30 people were there and it was a nice send off. mom, dad and brian left monday to go to salt lake. karen and justin left monday to go on a 4 day anniversary trip in the ga mountains. wednesday finally showed up and grandma and i drove down to marco island.

we stayed with her sister helen. first day we watched the sunset on the resident's only beach. it was really gorgeous. the next day janet and larry took me around the island. we went to some indian mounds, the library (which i really, really liked!) and then on a very very long walk on tigertail beach looking for shells. after lunch we went to big cypress national preserve in the everglades and saw tons of cool birds and one brave alligator. it was so cold they where all in hiding. that night we had pork and sauerkraut and peas. tradition apparently. it was really good. i got them all to stay up until midnight to watch the ball drop. they hadn't done it in years.

the next day i stayed in bed most of the day and then went over to larry and janet's for beef stew and pork leftovers while we watched the gator game. larry and i are the only ones who lasted til the end. it was great to see the gators win big. oh how i'll miss my tebow. the next day we went to open houses, as helen is looking to move to marco full time and wants more space and a place with a water view and an elevator. we saw some small condos with amazing views and a $1 million house that was pretty spectacular. the next day we drove up the coast to sanibel and captiva. cold and beautiful, i really want to come back to captiva to spend a long weekend. we ate yummy seafood and watched the steelers at the sanibel grill. then some dairy queen outside, sooo cold! and then the vacay was over. back to gainesville. 3 hours of sleep and then i picked up sam at 4:45am and drove her and grandma to the orlando airport. then i went home and slept the day away.

back to work on the 5th. lots to do with scheduling all the programs for the march-may guide. early morning staff meeting where i had to talk. planning sandy's retirement party and doing her scrapbook. late nights. and soreness. emily and i did a bosu class tuesday night and ohh was i in pain. but at least i was at the gym. read several books. worked the weekend, which was way too busy. did a chinese new year program on sunday. kids are so cute! i had 20 people, which means it was the holidays that got numbers low, not that i suck. trips to the permenant location to look at the progress of the building coming along quite nicely. trying to figure out how some of it is gonna work. getting to know the new librarian and figuring out my new library specialist's schedule. hiring pages and an ls to replace sandy (is that possible?) gotta do an evaluation and start going through my desk and tossing stuff.

stayed in bed all day yesterday (bum!) but today went to the gym, grocery shopping, did laundry (including putting it away), and cleaning my room. this weekend i'm going to see ishu and her fam. her bday was new years, so i gotta go celebrate. 4 day weekend with working last weekend and mlk day. gotta take down christmas soon. gotta write brian and send thank you's to all the aunts i saw in penn and marco. i think that catches me up. 3am time for bed!

Thursday, November 26, 2009

the search for the missing phone

oh what a day! yesterday i realized i couldn't find me phone. i was at work so sandy called it, no ringing. i figure i've left it at home. that night my roommate called me phone, no ringing. not just for me to here, but no ringing at all. my phone was going straight to voice mail. so either it's dead, or i dropped somewhere, and whoever has it has turned it off. either way, not good. well like the crazy person i am i watched the dancing with the stars finale (yeah donny!) and reruns and scrapbooked (i finished another park! 2 to go) and stayed up way too late. 3am to be exact. so when my alarm went off wed morning, i of course hit snooze. at 10:10 i realized how late it was and jumped out of bed. i was supposed to be at the chiropracter at 10:15. i threw on clothes and brushed my teeth (i mean no one deserves to face my morning breath). i was only 5 minutes late (no i didn't speed, his office is down the street from me).

so that painfulness over i went to joanne's and found scrapbooks 40% off and several cute pregnancy stickers. i also got what i went in for, scrapbook extenders and a box of mounting squares (tape for scrapbooking). i also ran into people i knew and had a nice chat. then on to publix. only 4 carts left. did i mention it was cold and rainy? luckily i got the last of the dry carts. the place was packed but everyone was so friendly and nice. i had two guys make jokes about all the chex cereal i was buying (chex mix is a thanksgiving must at our house). lots of good bogo sales too. i got into a short line, amazing! as i was returning my cart to the covered sidewalk (my sister use to work for publix, and i know the pain of hunting down carts, especially in the rain) , when some guy in a big white van that i've just walked past, yells to me that i need to watch where i'm going. i wasn't positive he was talking to me, but then he said it again louder. so i ignored him and then he said hey don't ignore me. by the time i got in my car, i realized it was someone i knew, not just some crazy looney. i saw the van across the parking lot and it was a library van! one of our systems guys was driving it. now of course i felt bad, but what i was really hoping was that if he was in the area, maybe he was going to the library to fix our patron printer (it's been broken since sunday and makes for not happy customers).

so then i went to the library to hunt for my phone there and to use a phone to call people and tell them i lost my phone. no luck (except there was a systems guy there working on the printer!) i chatted a few minutes and then ran into a woman i used to work with at uf. i told her about losing my phone and said she had one in the car she was about to go donate. so i went downstairs with her and got a free verizon phone. she told me how to switch my number to it without even having to call verizon. very cool. then i dashed home to put cold stuff in the fridge and went to cat's. she'd just finished the first batch of pumpkin bread and so i started the chex mix.

then we get a call from karen saying sam has been in a car accident. no one was hurt, but it was her fault and she was very upset. karen and justin were on the way to rescue her. she had to have her car towed, cause she crumpled the front, but the other women's car was fine. it was her first accident and i felt really bad, because she of course tried to call me on my lost phone. but the lady was nice, the cop was nice, and it all took less than an hour, so it wasn't too horrible. and since i'm going camping this weekend and she has to stay in town to work, she can have my car.

back to the chex mix! i haven't made it in awhile, so i had fun bugging cat every few minutes with questions. she started working on a quilt for my grandma. we spent the afternoon quilting (she pieced and sewed and i ironed and ripped out mistakes), cooking (3 batches of chex mix and another one of pumpkin bread) and of course chatting. i also searched my car for the missing phone. i ended up with a bag full of garbage and 2 tubes of concealer (i keep losing it and buying more and then losing the new one), but no phone. bill came home and then we had a nice salad for dinner and i was off again.

i got home to an awful smell. i took out the trash and it still wasn't better, so i sprayed disinfectant and went to my room. time to search my bedroom for the infamous phone. i pulled the bed from my wall, i pulled out everything from under it. nothing. then to my night stand. several months ago the bottom of the top drawer broke and everything in the top drawer landed in or behind the bottom drawer. which basically means it was a big mess that i've been ignoring. i dug everything out, fixed the night stand, threw away a bunch of crap, and organized it. still no phone. onto the my desk. nada. then to the living room. rip all the cushions off the love seat. start throwing out things i find and announcing them to my roommate who is cooking yummy seafood dip for thanksgiving (she's coming to karen's with me). hair clips, plastic fork, bubble wrap, jolly rancher, but no phone. i start to pull cushions off the couch, when my roommate asks me if i prayed about it. silly me, i hadn't thought of that. she makes me sit down and she says a prayer that i'll find my phone. then i start in on the couch. 30 seconds later i find the phone way back in the couch. talk about prayers answered! i started jumping around i was so happy! then i had a thank you prayer and put the living room back in order.

i was in a pretty darn good mood the rest of the night. i washed my dishes (i think my meat loaf pan was causing the stench). then i started packing for the camping trip. i called tim. i've been talking to him wed nights, because there's no shows i like that night and it gives me something to do. in my night stand search i came across my headphone/mic for my phone so i was able to keep packing while we talked. i organized all my jewelry and the top of my dresser too. i was on a cleaning high or something. we had a really nice talk, last time we got too deep into religion and he got a bit upset. this time we kept it light and fun. i finally finished packing at 1:30am and said goodnight. now it's 2:30 and here i am blogging. mostly because i wanted to get the crazy day down, because i most likely won't be able to blog until sunday night when i get back from our camping trip. i'm way looking forward to it, because the high is 60 and the low 37! i love cold snuggly weather. we'll have a fire, and do smores and drink hot chocolate and play games and just have a great last camping trip with brian before he leaves. okay, time to get some sleep so i can have the energy to consume all that turkey and veggies and pie!

Saturday, November 21, 2009

slow saturday

how do you like the new look? thought a change was in order. i know fall is almost over, but i figure that'll give me an excuse to change it again for winter/christmas. i needed something to do at work that looked like work, without having to leave my desk. i'm working again this weekend. just today, filling in for sandy, but i worked the whole first weekend of november then last sunday and now today. i'm tired of not having a weekend. this next weekend will be lots of fun camping, but still no me time. i have wednesday off for working today. but i have a dr app and then baking with cat. gotta make chex mix for thanksgiving and camping. she's in charge of pumpkin pies and i'm gonna try to get her to make her delicious pumpkin bread and cookies, so i can snag some for the trip.

tonight i have no plans except laundry. i started editing pics from the last few months last night, but fell asleep a little after 6pm. hopefully i'll finish that and then get them posted to facebook. it would also be great if could download audacity to my computer and try recording a song. but i don't know if i'll be that energetic. i have to teach sunday school tomorrow, so i should probably prepare. i've got the fun part done, just need to get some kind of treat for the winners, but i need to read over the rest.

today has been a slow saturday. the game started at 12:30 so that keeps people away. but we are playing a joke of a team and it's on ppv, so i figured not as many people would watch it. but when you are an undefeated, awesome team like us, i guess you gotta watch. i'm keeping track with gamecast on espn.go.com. we are only in the 2nd but its 28-0, so i think we've got it in the bag.

Saturday, September 19, 2009

being a lazy bum

i don't want to do much of anything lately, including blog. i had a pretty good trip with my family to the georgia mountains. too much fighting, but some good relaxing. i'm tired. i am blah since the big 3-0. my fav thing to do lately is lay in bed and read. i have totally been flaking out on my job with my dad. i finished the website class last month and haven't done one thing to spruce up the websites he has. i was supposed to work for him monday and friday this week since i had off from the library, but instead i slept in (today until 3:30pm!) and read. i haven't been to the gym either. i need some motivation to get off my butt and do stuff that's good for me.

i'm going to kate's tomorrow to watch florida beat the tar out of tennessee. that will be fun. the first two games, i was out of town or working. football games at kate and jd's are the best! maybe i'll get a free movie out of sam afterwards.

i need to get some craft projects done. i'm almost finished with a cross stitch project, that needs to be done the first of october. then i need to do some major scrapbooking. then i have to finish crocheting a blanket for my sister. its a little over half done. its for her graduation in april, so i think it'll be okay.

i also have to plan a trip to go up to pennsylvania and get my grandma. another sister is graduating in december and grandma is coming for that and christmas. she won't fly alone, so i go get her and she pays. i love free vacays! i'm trying to get one out of my parents for when my brother goes to utah to start his mission for the church.

i've got to start thinking of a halloween costume. any ideas?

Thursday, August 6, 2009

what i'm really thinking

i have tons to write. i've been doing so many fun things, but what i really want to do is write about how weird i've been feeling. i have an ear infection and i'm hoping that is why i feel dizzy and like my head is full of cotton. either from the drugs or the infection itself. i'm not sure if its the fact that i haven't taken some of my everyday drugs regurlarly or at all. i've been either very angry or feeling weepy or sick to my stomach. i guess taking your precscriptions is important. i haven't exercised in a week or dieted in two and have gained 10lbs. that is definitely making me fell yucky in body and soul.

or maybe the fact that 30 is looming and that i'm going to be a bridesmaid this weekend. or the talk i had with my parents this week about having maxed out all my credit cards, having to borrow money from my little brother to make rent and put gas in my car and fix my stupid broken blinker and taillight and get my hair done for the wedding. and the chat with them about me being all alone. no date in years and all the things i've been doing wrong or not doing at all to attract a man. i have a wonderful life and am blessed with more than i could hope for, but there is this layer of wrongness that i try to bury and not dwell on. i cover it up with friends and food and reading and enjoying the freedom of being single. and while i do enjoy not dealing with the bad things about having a boyfriend or husband or children, the good things i'm missing out on are sorely apparent. and therefore i cover over those with the good things in my life and eat too much and spend money i don't have. i am my own worst enemy and am lacking greatly in the willpower department.

there are only a few things that i have set a goal to and acutally finished. i stopped biting my nails when i was 15, i lost 50 lbs after high school, i got my master's degree, and i'm working in a job i enjoy. that's it. and those are good things, but a very short list of goals attained, especially with 30 looming. i look around at my friends, mostly married with children and wonder about the goals they've reached that i haven't and the goals i've reached that they haven't, or the few that seem to have attained all their goals. do they think, oh how nice it must be for me to not have to worry about a husband and children when i get home for work. how nice to not consult them when making decisions. how lucky i am to have finished school and be in a career. or do they just see what's lacking in my life and feel sorry for me.

and the worst of it all is knowing i'm capable of doing all the things i want, or attaining all the goals i have set, but i'm not doing it. why? why do i sabotage myself? why do i purposely do things that will hurt me in the long run? am i afraid of getting what i want. or afraid if i do all that i can and still don't get what i want, then there is just something wrong with me that i can't fix. i've spent a lot of time this week driving and thinking about all the time i've wasted in my life. of all the really dumb, stupid, idiotic things i've done. but then i think i wouldn't be me if i hadn't lived the way i have. but then i think do i really like the me i've become. and in many ways no. and i'm angry, i am so angry with myself and yet i'm the one person i can't get away from. i think i'm severly lacking in faith. faith in myself, faith in the plan God has for me. how do i get that faith? how do i fix me?

AAAAHHHHHHH! (insert screaming and crying here)

i guess it comes down to not trying to fix me in one fell swoop. i have to work on each problem inch by inch. and i have got to make smaller goals. and i have to keep going, having faith that my life will be what i want it to be. i won't be rich, i won't be gorgeous, i might be single forever, but i will be healthy in body and mind. i will date. i will dig myself out of debt. i will be kinder and less selfish. i will be less angry. i will enjoy the good parts and not cover up the bad. i will be true to what i believe and i will have faith in myself.

now i just have to keep repeating this to myself and make it happen. so much easier said than done. to still from another blogger and friend - 'faith is action'. and i better get busy!

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

keeping busy

lots to do. dishes and laundry and taking out the trash and watering plants (thank you rain for coming!) and grocery shopping and decorating for the 4th and spending time with various friends and family (made it to the art museum) and doing my web page class and going to the beach and scrapbooking and handing out and mailing bridal shower invites and buying tickets for a play (peter pan!) and going to church and work and prepping programs (dinosaurs) and dealing with a hundred questions a day from staff and patrons and being annoyed with annoying people and trying to count calories (calorie count you rock!) and exercise and trying to find a day to see a movie (i get in free!) and realizing i'm throwing a bridal shower in 2 1/2 weeks and haven't planned a thing (oh crap!) and going to the bank and the pharmacy and unpacking my sister and making food for the 4th and working overtime (thank you extra money!) and cleaning my dad's shop and remembering to take my meds and posting and editing pics and keeping up with this blog. whew. i'm tired. but happy to be busy and productive and to have people that need me and people that want me. life is good and i have good people to share it with.

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Thing 3 - Searching the Blogosphere

i'm getting behind on me things, so here it goes. blogosphere, what a fun word! i'm not sure that i'll really use this feature, the blogs i read are about my friends and i can barely keep up with those. kind of like i can hardly keep up with my friends. i'm not out looking for more, so why go looking for more blogs to read. i guess when my friends get too annoyed with me and go away, then i'll be looking for more friends and blogs.

i put 'mormon' (because i am one) into technorati and came up with lots of things on prop 8 when searching posts, but when searching blogs i got lots of personal blogs by mormons. i like the authority feature, but wonder who decides who has authority. the advanced search options were nice for where in the blog (title, content etc.) should the search look.

i then did google blog search and got a mixture of personal blogs and corporate/education/government. this searched posts, not blogs, but did have some blog suggestions at the top. sorting by date was nice and quite specific.

technorati just seemed to have more stuff to do. i liked the tabs at the top and all the options that brings. plus format wise, i just liked the layout and fonts of technorati better.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

whiny much?

So I sent out an email to my friends about the blog and my work people know about it too, because we are all doing the 23 Things. I wanted to use this blog for my Things, but also to vent and whine about the problems in my life. How am I supposed to do that, if the people I want to talk about are reading the blog? I'll have to be very vague about who I'm complaining about I guess. I could do a lot of crying about not enough money or being overworked, or current events. Those kinds of posts shouldn't hurt anyone's feelings. I'm not a mean person, ok not a really mean person, and I'm not much of a gossiper, but I do like to talk about my frustrations. If I get too whiny just let me know.

Monday, January 12, 2009

Thing 1 - The Creation of a Blog

So for those of you (my friends, enemies etc.) who read this and don't know why I've started a blog, let me enlighten you. NEFLIN a organization that offers classes for library staff (at least that's what I use it for) has started a program called 23 Things. It began in Charoltte, NC and now we're trying it here. The 'things' are different technologies that librarians encounter in their job, usually because patrons ask for our help and we end up looking like idiots because we've never heard of what they're talking about. So over the next few months, I get to try, use, interact, etc. with 23 technologies and blog about them. I have several friends (you know who you are) who have blogs that I follow, so now you have to follow mine. I plan to use the blog for the 23 Things, but also for me to vent, inform, and organize my thoughts. I chose 23 personalities, because they wanted us to put 23 somewhere in the title and because I come from a long line of crazy, so I probably have 23 personalities floating around in me somewhere.

Now for the boring stuff I have to write about my experience to get prizes. (Did I mention if I complete the 23 Things, I could get really cool prizes? Free stuff! Woohoo!) I already had a Blogger account, because my library has a blog and we were asked to get an acoount so we could read the blog and/or participate (check it out http://millhopperstaffblog.blogspot.com/). So the only hard part of that was to remember what my password was, but I got it on the second try. So then I named the blog. That was the hardest part of all. Then I picked a url which was something I use on occasion, since I'm a girl and work in a library and then my initials. Easy to remember and share. Next was picking a template. I figure I'll change it soon enough to put my own look on it, so it didn't really matter. I like green, so green it is. Now I'm going to register my blog with NEFLIN. If that works, then Thing 1 will have been a rousing success for me. If only all the Things could be this easy. Sigh.