work and the family

been too long again since the last post. i worked a weekend and had a great program about the beach. we made these super cute octopus creatures and had lots of fun. the picture above is like it, but i just used folded cardstock instead of a paper towel roll. sandy got the idea off the interent and they turned out even better than this. tomorrow i'm going to a preschool to do a program for 35, 3 & 4 year olds. just doing my favorites, like don't let the pigeon stay up late and bark george and the songs rags and wheels on the bus. i've never been to this school before, so hopefully all goes well. work itself has become harder. there are just so many people, with so many questions, that check out and return sooo many books. now on our phone hour we check in and my wrist is bothering me, but that probably has something to do with the 50 bridal shower invitations i made last week. all that cutting and folding and pasting and punching, wears a wrist out. but at least they are done.
i still need to finish her present for the shower and that's gonna hurt my wrist too. but i've got 3/4 of it done and 3 weeks to do it. unfortunately i slept thru church sunday and didn't get the invitations handed out. i was so exhausted from moving my sister the day before that i slept until 3pm.

yes cat and bill finally got their house!!! they signed the papers wedensday and i rushed over right after work. it is so big and the layout is good and they have lots of land and a pool. i'm soo excited for them. most of the fam came over and helped with the move on saturday. dad was in charge of ceiling fans and putting up things in the bathroom that mom kept going out to buy. mom was in charge of the bathroom and bought lunch and dinner for everybody. brian and bill did all the heavy lifting. they worked like dogs and it was 102 outside, so they were pretty beat. cat and i packed and unpacked the kitchens. we got their bed all set up and they spent their first night on saturday. cat went to the old apartment sunday and cleaned for hours, then turned the keys in. so long dinky apartment with the tiniest kitchen i've ever been in, hello big 4 bedroom, 3 bathroom house for only 2 people. bill had to leave monday morning for a business trip, so cat has to spend the first week in the new house alone. but that will give her lots of time to organize things. plus this is the break between summer a and b, so she has a little extra time. i'm going over a few nights after work to help and keep her company. we are hoping to have 4th of july there, with their new pool and all that land to play frisbee and throw the football on.

i worked for my dad again on wednesday. i had monday and wednesday off last week from working the weekend. i washed dishes, made him lunch, and we went through everything on one of the shelving units in his workshop. it was very dusty and i killed a bunch of roaches. we threw away like 6 big garbage bags of computer junk. then he napped and brian helped me flip over the recliners and vaccuum and dust. i got to one corner of the huge L shaped desk. still a long way to go. i definitely need to clean the fridge, some gross things in there. i haven't done much on my class. i haven't been in school for a long time and then i did a lot of homework on the reference desk. one day last week it took like three hours on the desk to make it through a 12 question pre-course quiz. too many people bothering me :) i tried to logic the answers out since most of it was about html and i don't know anything about that. i got 7 right, not to bad. we take the quiz again at the end to see what we've learned. lessons 1 and 2 are out and i've read 2 pages of chapter 1 in lesson one. there are 4 chapters and i'm afraid to find out how many pages per chapter. the first two lessons are more history of the web and then we get to do hands on things to start building web pages.

father's day was good. we all went to karen and justin's. bill stayed home to get ready for his trip. we had hot dogs, brats, corn on the cob, potato salad, coleslaw, deviled eggs, and bbq potato chips. it was so yummy. i finally got mom on facebook. all her siblings and nieces are on there and with ruth gone, she needed a new way to stay in touch. however, she spelled her password wrong and now can't get in. oh mother. hopefully she figures it out. karen made two new things, coconut chiffon pie and coconut marble cake. the chiffon was good, but i could taste the lemon zest, and i don't like lemon. the cake was a little dry, but good too. then cat went home to sleep and we watched bedtime stories. its a family friendly adam sandler movie that is way cute.

a day of much needed fun

went to the river with my 5 cousins and their children, plus my family, minus one brotherinlaw. we wanted to spend a day of fun together away from the house and the sadness from the day before. my uncle brought his boat and people waterskied, wake boarded and rafted behind it. karen wake boarded for the first time and got up on her second try. she loved it. i lay on a chair with a footrest, munching the yummy boiled peanuts i made that everyone loved. i watched, videoed, and photographed the older boys and young at heart men, do the rope swing or do flips off a tree and dock. but mostly i was in the water in a place next to the dock that we could stand in and roped off so the kids wouldn't float down the river.

i got to know my cousins kids better, especially the young ones. it gave the parents a break to relax while we watched out for them. flung them in the air, helped them swim, made sure they were all accounted for, splashed them and shook the raft they floated on. so much laughter to help ease the pain of the day before. it was adorable to see my brotherinlaw justin playing with the kids, hoping for some of his own soon. plus my brother, always watching out for them, helping them on and off the dock, up and down the hill, over and over. always patient, always kind.

my oldest cousin julie and her husband ivan are so much fun. ivan kept us rolling in laughter for most of the day. the man ate an orea off the ground that ants had been feasting on. he threw peanut shells at us. he squirted ice cold water on us. julie reigned him in when he needed it. on our trip in august/september to stay in a cabin in the ga mountains we'll get to see them again. they only live 45 minutes away. we are going to try to spend more time together even though we are spread out through florida and georgia. its really not that far and its really important to be with each other. my uncle wants to sell the house and get a place on the river. he loves boating and fishing. he wants a place we can all go to and have fun. he was out there wakeboarding and waterskiing, doing tricks like a man half his age. he kids say know one has told him how old he is, so he keeps on going like he's a teenager. it was good to see him laugh and have some fun today. its good to know i'll like the people i'm going to be spending eternity with :)

tears

today was hard. i finally cried. a lot. the sisters at church had a nice lunch for the family. then the viewing. my aunt didn't like people staring at her, even in death, so it was a closed casket. my mom helped her daughters dress her, that was the beginning of her crying. my mom has been pretty strong through this, but today she looked rough. her eyes and nose were red and swollen. she looked her 57 years. and yet she was beautiful. no black for her. she was in pink and green and looked like spring. i set next to her during the first part of the viewing when it was just mostly family and we watched the slideshow. my mom in the early pictures with her pointy glasses and blond pig tails. ruth was a beautiful woman. i cried through the pictures. her and bob and their teenage love that blossomed into a wonderful marriage with 5 children and 8 grandchildren. she really lived. lots of pictures of all the places she's been. hawaii and jamaica, the bahamas and all over the us. by her side her children and her beloved husband. always a smile on her face and a laugh in her eyes. as i cried i remembered how vibrant and loud and loving she was. i'm going to miss that.

the funeral was wonderful and long. the church was packed with the people who loved her. her youngest daughter and oldest granddaughter just 2 years apart, sung nearer my god to thee. that song always makes me cry. then robyn her daughter spoke. she's closest to me in age and 7 months pregnant. she cried through a lot of it and recounted among other things, the romance of her parents. then her son jason spoke. he recounted ruth's penchant for losing her keys and wallet and glasses. her nicknames for all her children and siblings. she was mama bear. his wife is pregnant with their first child. they just found out it was a boy. someone to carry on the family name. ruth was at the birth of all her grandchildren. he cried when he said how much she had been looking forward to being at the birth of his son. talk about tears flowing. then all her grandchildren sang the song love is spoken here. my mom spoke after that. her siblings said they couldn't do it. she's the rock, the big sister now, so she got the things they each wanted to say and weaved them into a lovely and funny tribute to their sister.

then one of her tuesday night painting sisters spoke. ruth and 3 girlfriends had gotten together every tuesday for 12 years to work on projects, share their trials and triumphs and girl talk. it was nice to hear a friend talk, to share another part of my aunt. during this talk, tiffany's daughter scared us by chocking on a spree. then she threw up on her mother. pregnant, sick, at her mother's funeral, her child scaring her and then puking on her and tiffany's bday is tomorrow. she looked pretty miserable. another speaker - a bit long winded and a operatic singing of the lord's prayer by dr kesling and then the bishop read what my uncle bob couldn't get up there and say. it was to everyone there about how much he appreciated their help these two months. and it was to his ruthie. many tears. to be loved like that. to share your life with your best friend. i want that someday.

needless to say by the end karen, cat and i had a mountain of tissues setting on the pew between us. the gravesite ceremony was short and hot. i stopped at my nana and great grandpa's graves and swept the freshly mown grass of them. poor tiff. after the drama with her daughter she fell when putting the rose on her mother's casket. luckily her dad caught her. we hugged my mom goodbye, she looked ready to collapse, and brian drove her home (he finally got his real driver's license!) the rest of us kids went to my place, just next door to the cemetery and got bbq and talked and laughed about things that didn't matter. when needed a break from all the heavy stuff. then to bed i went. my leg and back hurt from all the sitting and my head hurt from all the crying.

tomorrow the family wants to get together before they leave. we're going to fanning springs. that was always the place they went to cool off at when they were growing up. bob gives boat rides on the river and we lay in the shade and float in the springs. last time i went with them was 20 years ago. i'm looking forward to being with them all. to remember ruth. to get to know each other better. to enjoy each other while we're here. to have fun with the people i love.

things to do

my aunt ruth passed away at 5am this morning. she's been in a coma for over a week. this gave the family a lot of time to get together and talk about her, hold her hand, and get to know each other better. but now her pain is gone and she has gone back home. the funeral will probably be thursday. well see how it goes.

this weekend i started working for my dad. i started by cleaning his work shop. i spent five hours scrubbing that place. i killed a lot of spiders. and sucked up a lot of sand and spider webs with the shop vac (i so want one). surfaces are now white and the carpet is pink. next time i go out there we will work on organization and throwing crap out. the other part of working for him will be to do web pages. my dad owns his own computer business Computer Aide (http://www.the-computer-aide.com/) and my sister Cat has done the web pages for a few places for him. the town of Ft White, Advent Glassworks, and the Computer Aide site. i hope to improve these sites and do more for the small, rural businesses he does computers and networking for.

i signed up for a class through santa fe's continuing education on creating web pages. its a 6 week course that starts next week. dad's paying for it and i'm excited to learn something new. i really need the money. it was either work for dad with a flexible schedule or go get a part time job. even though this means listening to dad talk computers (he spent 30 minutes saturday showing me a bit about computer programming) i'll make better money and have hours that totally work around my real job as an awesome librarian.

i also need to get started on the invitations for the bridal shower i'm throwing next month. her colors are red and yellow and orange. sunflowers and daisies. i really want to make them by hand. we'll see how that goes too.

i have to work this weekend, which means a program. the last one was on frogs and it was way cool. a coworker brought in tadpoles and frogs and the kids really liked it. i'm not sure what to do this one on.

i just talked to my sister cat and she thinks she is closing on her house this friday. she and her husband bill have been working on getting this house forever. the original closing was april 20th. a very long time ago. but the place is awesome, so i guess its worth it. we want to do fourth of july there, since they have a pool and plenty of room to run around.

i think that's all. thanks to you have been checking up on me and making me feel loved.

ruth

so i went to see my aunt last night. i made chicken soup from scratch. and when you start with a frozen chicken at 9pm, you don't get finished until 1am, just so ya know. she's in a coma now and looks very peaceful. my three sisters and i went over. karen and i went in and held her hand and talked to her and put some yummy smelling mango lotion on her feet that she likes.

it was nice to talk to our cousins. they mostly live in georgia and this time some brought their husbands and all their kids. it was noisy and fun with lots of laughter. but there is a weariness in their faces, especially of the two that are pregnant. i cannot imagine the pain of losing my mother. someday i will and i know i'll have them to lean on. i love my aunt very much. she's lived 40 minutes or less away from me my whole life. i lived in her house, in the very room she's dying in, for a summer. then i was next door for a semester. i have only cried once about it, in the temple, soon after the doctor gave us the news. but there is a knot of tears in my chest that is building. im sure it will come out at the funeral. my best friends grandmother died about 10 years ago. she is the only person i've lost who has been close. i was fine until just before the funeral when the family gathered to hear the bishop pray. i lost it. i practically had to shove my fist in my mouth to quiet the sobs. im thinking it will be something like that again. but this time i'll be surrounded by more family, so maybe it will be better. plus my concern will be focused on my mom. i also cannot imagine losing a sister. mine are like appendages, myself not working right without them.

i guess i also just feel peace. i know she's lived a good life, had a wonderful husband, children, grandchildren and friends. she's touched alot of lives for the better. i feel blessed to know her. but oh how im going to miss that laugh. that loud, almost donkey-like, endearing, yet slightly embarrassing laugh. its making me tear up just thinking about it. that's how i'll remember her. loving her family, doing her crafts, and laughing. i know that she's going to be with those little grandbabies about to arrive and to see her mom and grandparents. and though we'll miss her, she where's she supposed to be.

i also have felt so much love from my friends. lots of texts and calls and facebook messages and facebook chat, to make sure im okay and what they can do to help. just the asking is wonderful. letting me talk. how truly glorious it is to have so many caring people in my life.

it felt good to type this. now to have some pleasant dreams. nite.

catch up

i haven't blogged in forever. for those of you who check up on me, you already know this. so busy. alabama, then the florida library conference and staying with the martinez family. mother's day, brotherinlaw's bday, visiting my aunt, work-evaluations and the summer reading program, hanging with the sisters. the craziest weekend of work, but had 26 people at my program, so that was good. memorial day, which cousins and my aunt came to. floating the itchetucknee with family and friends. my brother's high school graduation, hard to believe. the martinez's staying with me. a friend's bday dinner at texas roadhouse and some yummy ice cream cake from ben and jerry's. lots of people over after church, 2 babies, fun and very loud.

yeah that's the short version of what i've been doing. most of it has been fun, some extremely stressful, a few sad. but mostly i just feel really blessed to have such a wonderful life. i have soooo many people in my life who love me and care for me and want to spend time with me and let me help them and who help me. its the balancing of focusing on me and the things i really need to do for myself and being there for others, being a good friend and sister. sometimes i concentrate on one more than the other. finding the happy medium is hard.

no more not writing, so keep looking for more posts.